Cuties & Cookies

It's time to face the facts, Earthlings! Welsh Corgis are too cute.

Exhibit A

According to Welsh folklore these stumpy-legged canines were the beasts of burden for fairy warriors riding into battle. Cute little saddles. Cute little stirrups. Dangerous little animals. You haven't even seen a specimen in the juvenile state.

Exhibit B

Disgusting. The flood of joy, the need to protect the seemingly helpless life form, and the baby features that evolution has cruelly and favorably selected are sickening. Humans may have figured Evolution out, even beating the mistress at her own game, but at the end of the day she is our mistress, and a bitch of one. With these cuties on the Cute Market, the value of Cuteness will reach an unprecedented level of cute inflation, ever widening the gap between the cutes and the cute-nots.

In other news, Triscuit will soon wake up to some bad news coming through the alarm clock radio. A competitor is soon to rise. Out of Oklahoma will come a new form of snack cracker, more aptly named: Bread Cookie. What do people love? Since the dawn of time: bread. Since right after that: cookies. It's not a new product, just a better-sounding one.