A Letter to Tetris

Dear Tetris,

This letter is an official invitation into the Hall of My Bitches. That's right Tetris! It all happened last night when I was at level 15, the L's, the Z's, and the T's where dropping like DFA, but I was not going to stand down. The four-blocked lines, the squares, and the backward Z's were raining down like fire and brimstone, but I was not fazed. I was holding my own, and you got nervous. I was only four lines up from the bottom when the screen froze and the words "Game Over" appeared. You gave up my former friend. You couldn't take the heat, so you got out of the kitchen. I Gamed Over you, Tetris. You are now my bitch, so shut up and take your seat next to Mario Brothers 3, skeet shooting, and DDR. Hang your pitiful head in humility amongst Calculus, home-made pizza, and my roommates' dog, Boscow. You will only speak when spoken to. You will not be cuddled after sex. You have even lost your right to vote. I once respected you, but after the night of July 1st, 2008, you became my bitch. Don't fuck with me, Tetris. I will fuck you up!

Sincerely,
EDW