My brother was born by Caesarian. It was my mother's first pregnancy. When the doctors had administered her anesthetic they pricked her with a needle and asked if it hurt. Having a high threshold for pain, my mother said no. They commenced with the surgery.
In his first picture with his first child my father is beaming ear to ear. In his first picture with his second child my father has a forced, pained grin.
I hate looking at pictures of aborted fetuses. It chills me. Not because of the abortion, but because the sight of the slimy mini human is frightening. Beady eyes. Red skin. Rounded limbs. It's the fetus that horrifies me, not the procedure.
Trapped in a small space with someone with a nervous tick. "Why do you do that?" "I can't help it." I didn't ask if you could help it. I asked why you do it.
I feel asleep after eating week old turkey. I woke up with the most terrible taste in my mouth. It stuck with me for days.

Not to be pretentious, but...

I'm sorry I don't have more pictures of myself that make it look as if I lead an interesting, envy invoking life. You see, I'm too busy doing things to constantly take time and stop to pose as if I were actually doing something.

Lexicon

po-mo-sex-u-al [poh-moh-sek-shoo-ul]

- noun
1. A person who is not defined by his or her sexual orientation.
2. Person who loves another person regardless of his or her gender.

Usage: Why is Lindsay Lohan dating a woman? Oh well, she must be a pomosexual.
Ricky Martin had twins by a surrogate? Is he pomosexual or something?

OUTBREAK!

Easter

I wanted to share with you the Easter story in the best way I know how.

This one helps the next one make sense.

SB'09

That just about sums it up.

Little Dab'll Do Ya

I've had at least one nose-bleed a day for the past week.
It's a combo of allergies, low humidity, and stress.
My friend, Lakroya, says it's because I think nasty thoughts, but I think that makes blood rush elsewhere.
My other friend, Laura, knows a guy who gets erections when he gets angry.
I went to a party and the house was lit with black lights. You could see every spot were a supposed animal had pissed.
I weigh the most I've ever weighed. My brother says I'm becoming a man.
I have a feeling Ill die in a calamity like a tornado, war, or genocide.